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mentioned on Saturday morning that she would lie totally free during the federal government shutdown.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The White House press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, is proofreading the textual content of tonight’s State of the Union deal with one final time to take away any remaining info, Sanders confirmed on Tuesday. WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump collapsed from exhaustion after approximately ninety minutes of pretending to be a human being with empathy, the White House doctor has

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